How Hard Do You Push?
The question is one you have to consider when you look at the issues and keep pushing...
Anyone fighting for something gets to the point where you have to cross “red lines” as they say so often. It is a hard thing. There comes a point you have decide, do you want to go further or not. What does that step mean? Will you offend people? Do you undermine your work by getting that person in Power upset and they will lock you out? Will it matter because that person will never let you in anyhow? Why are you giving them the Power when you can have it? What is the goal?
Politics is a dirty business. We hear it all the time. You want to treat people with respect and dignity, but you also have to understand there is a level where they will not reciprocate. Power demands that those who like to exert it control the conversation by limiting others. Furthermore, Power does not respond unless pushed. Sometimes you just have to “take it.” You cannot wait to be invited in.
Probably one of the toughest questions you have to ask yourself is when do you “keep pushing.” Could it “ruffle feathers?” Will those who you want to listen to you “freeze you out?” Will they ever “let you in?” The trade off is a hard one. Most defer to the “wait to let them invite me in” model. It keeps people at bay. It is a way of controlling. Do you give them a glimpse and see if that satiates them? There is a club. The insiders control it. They do not like to let you in.
Throughout my career, I have tried to work with those who have the “power seat.” For instance, with the fires, I have tried to circulate as much as possible the ideas here, giving them a chance to engage, before creating the Substack. Furthermore, I have tried to work to help those who are in those positions to find a path forward together. When you get frozen out, when you are not engaged, when they try and work around you, the message is clear. You are insignificant. You are to be used. If they take your work, you will not get credit for it. They will want it to be theirs, put enough make up and lipstick on the pig to change it for their own uses. Forget saying “thank you.” Ha!
It is a hard choice sometimes. You think about “what if.” What if they just could understand? What if this is the moment where it “breaks through?” What if this meeting is the prelude to the next, “testing” you to see if you are reliable or someone to be brought in, so should you be courteous and not keep pushing? What if you supplicate yourself like everyone else and therefore play the game they want it? Could you get what you want? Once you start asking the question, Power flows to the other side. I am naturally one who defers because I am respectful of those on the other side and what they created, but you need to remember, you are giving them Power instead of yourself.
Every decision comes with risk. Powerful people are used to not being challenged and when challenged, dispatching that challenger. They are sensitive to Power and what it takes to maintain it. Power is an illusion and therefore everything that follows must be illusory. When you challenge, you do not get invited to the table, because why would you allow someone who challenges Power to come in. If they do, there is a reason. They want something. They need something. They want you to believe there is a chance. Like Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber, “Are you saying there is a chance?” Delay. Learn something. Use the person. Give the impression they want you to help and “control you.” Once you supplicate yourself as an actor, it is over. Do you need them or do they need you? It is so complicated. Mirrors on mirrors. It is binary. Who is on top? Who controls?
The pragmatist in me understands the reality, but the romantic in me wants to believe maybe there is a chance, maybe there is a path, maybe, finally, someone gets it and wants to work together, without these Power Games.
I get it. I am new to LA and the games here (relatively so, as I have been a resident for over 25 years, but hey).
When I was working in DC on my project a few years back, I was new there too. I was that upstart. I upset the apple cart. Those who invited me in got to use me and then discard me as I did not understand the Game then like I do now. I was useful to them and supplicated myself to their control when it was needed. I got entranced with Power and how I needed what they had. Because of my ideas, they got to renegotiate deals. I was used for them to leverage positions. I got a glimpse and made things different than anyone expected. Then I said no. I changed the status quo. I started to go a different way. I ruffled the feathers. I was the “sharp end of the spear,” no longer waiting for those in Power to help me. I crossed the lines. I called out groups for their shibboleths. I started to see how it worked. I started to say, I am not waiting to be invited in. I would love to have, but that is not how it works. Power is rarely given and nearly always taken right? It got me to where I am today. I got me to have the trust of people who we need the trust of to get what we need for Altadena and California. Trust me, it has helped us in ways most do not even realize.
But here we are again. I am faced with the conundrum. Will they let me in to help or will I be frozen out? It is a line. I started with the attacks on certain bills and plans (you know what they are). I would like to help get them to where they could help all of us, but that goal is not likely to happen. So now what? Here is the choice.
If frozen out, I get to be more critical, more acerbic, more direct. But the more I do those things, the more I alienate those who might be able to let me in; who might be able to move these ideas quicker than if we just do it the old fashioned way. We need quick, but is quick right? Is quick really quick? Quick could have been done. Quick is not benefitting those in Power. We are already pushing them. We are already changing the conversation. They have not let me in yet. But, even with the possibility, will they let me get there? Will they think I am “defanged?” Will they always worry about whether I could change on a dime? Can I be trusted?
To the last question, the answer is yes, I can be trusted if they could be trusted. Trust comes from showing humility. Humility shows your ability to say “I am human and I get it, so let’s make a deal.”
I read an e-mail newsletter today talking about the idea of you seed things (the writer was very cryptic about the “thing”), and then the grow. What he was happy about, what he cared about, is “the tip of the hat.” It is the thank you. It is recognition of a job well done. It is humility. It is the fact they put themselves out there for something enduring, something bigger than yourself, bigger than your “reputation,” and people recognize it. It is not ego. That is what people want. Simple acknowledgement. My business colleague always comments that it amazes him how people are incapable of giving credit. “Credit,” he says, “is infinitely divisible.” The motto is how the military works. I remind him that in politics, ego does not allow for that credit.
Probably one of the most influential people on my “education” in the political sphere says, “just do you” whenever I have those pangs of worry about whether I will be able to recover from a document, a poke, or an acerbic response. That person has done more for me and my career than I could ever repay. It is that advice which has brought me this far and why we are able to get into the rooms we are. It brought me to publicize, educate, and push boundaries. I know I have upset people. I know being on the outside will likely be my cross to bear. I also hold out hope, as the romantic, that maybe this time will be different (knowing full well it will not). You have to dream to try and affect things.
We all have a role to play. For those who I have upset and will continue to, I am sorry, but understand, respect is a two way street. If we are working together, things can be better. Things can work. It was also said, “look at the scoreboard.” We are moving things. CRA is being discussed openly. Plans we are discussing are working. We have to poke at the bear to get it moving but it is moving. It would be nice to sit in a room and just get it done, but sometimes you have to upset the apple cart to get there. What else is moving the needle? Where else are people discussing the things we are?
Respect is what really matters. Respect works both ways. Will those who act in such a way ever invite you to the table? Will they ever allow you to assist? Is it worth trying to curry favor, kissing the ring, giving them the deference, or is it just best to poke and keep poking until things move? What is the red line? Does it even matter? As the newsletter today intimated, it is not about the credit, it is about the result, which can be imbedded and take years to grow, but it is there. How do you do it if you do not break the soil and churn things up? Just me “doing me.”